if not me...
If not us, then who If not me and you Right now, it’s time for us to do something If not now, then when Will we see an end To all this pain It’s not enough to do nothing It’s time for us to do something ~ Matthew West
It is 1995 and a boy sits alone at the lunch table. He's skinny and quiet, wearing a tattered Polo shirt. His name is Don. He typically roams the halls during lunch to avoid scenes like this, but today he is starved... So he eats, dodging occasional cheeto bullets from the next table. It is Friday so pep rally excitement fills the air. Don stares at his food, likely battling an internal voice yelling GET UP! RUN AWAY! And perhaps the voice almost wins. He's picking up his half-eaten tray when a cheerleader takes the seat beside him. She glares at her friends who sheepishly put their chips away as she starts a conversation. His behavior is often odd, to be sure, but he means no harm (years later he will be diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome). The bell rings and she rises to leave. He flashes a cautious smile and holds his head a little higher. They don't become best friends or eat together every day, but this is the last time he will feel humiliated and alone in the cafeteria. A line has been drawn in the sand, and a light cast on mean behavior that will no longer be glorified or tolerated. One girl, one small act of courage and kindness changes everything.
What did her parents do? Why, in the midst so much wrong, did she choose RIGHT? And how can we grow little humans who will become assets to humanity? Bullying, my friends, is alive and well... And not isolated to children. Social media has exacerbated the problem, allowing people to abuse one another behind the relative safety of their computers. And, good people, fearing they might be the next victim of widespread attacks, are unwilling to defend or protect the wronged. Like wildfire, negative news spreads, lies become truth, and wrongdoing is praised and passed on. Yikes. Thought it was hard being a kid in 1995? Good luck to our children if we don't make a stand now. We started Well Dressed Wolf with little more than a dream, a few sketches and our innocence. Somehow, little by little, our baby company started growing... and in just a few years has become something we never imagined. Along the way we have made friends (so many friends!). We've gained wisdom, honed our craft, learned valuable (sometimes costly!) lessons in business, and watched women come together for the good of each other and the world. We've celebrated babies being born and literally watched children grow up through pictures (wearing WDW!). In the early days, we jumped right into social media, joining the many groups that popped up in our name. Having never been involved in the underground world of children's clothing, it was a rush! Interacting with customers on such a personal level was thrilling and gratifying... Until it wasn't. Recently, we have stepped away from all groups (most of which are lovely places full of wonderful women!) because it was necessary. We didn't start this business to referee or participate in sparring factions of clothing lovers and buyers and sellers. We aren't politicians and have no desire to be. Our daily posts shouldn't be planned like a State of the Union address-- each word measured and monitored for potential hidden meaning or intention. We started this journey because we LOVE to design adorable things for your children and we LOVE getting to know so many good people who have rallied around our brand (and there are so many good people). In fact, a positive and inspiring community group will soon be launched exclusively for friends of Well Dressed Wolf. We hope you'll take part! We plan to pop in periodically and you'll get sneaks, make supportive friendships, take part in giveaways and have opportunities to help make the world a BETTER PLACE. It really is time to make social media a more positive experience again- for our children; for ourselves. Adults bullying one another and harassing businesses should never be okay.
As we tell our own children, you have CHOICES every day: seek darkness or seek light. Make a positive impact on the world or a negative one. Seek to inspire or to destroy. Do what you know is right- even when it isn't "cool". Don't seek revenge (no matter how much you want to!) and pray for the people who hurt you (this one is a toughie!). You aren't perfect and you'll make mistakes, so learn to apologize and forgive. Be honest, but be kind. Truth doesn't have to hurt... THESE are goals for our own lives (and business), and though we sometimes fall short, we are confident in the path we've chosen.
You're living the one and only life that God has gifted you, so make it count.
Love,
Sarah and Shannon
On that note, let's celebrate being good today. We have some sweet giveaways and links to happy places below:
- Our mantra for the day is BE A NICE HUMAN! And guess what? Our dear friend launched a company built to inspire just that! Our new favorite tank reminds everyone we meet to behave nicely in a modern, graphically pleasing font (bonus!). Danielle has generously offered a shirt, bag, candle and bracelet to one lucky person! Sidenote: you'll want to buy some for everyone you know, so here is their facebook page (where they happen to be hosting a giveaway of their own, so go check it out!).
- We are all works-in-progress. The Finishing School is a book we genuinely look forward to delving into! Several of our friends have also purchased the pre-order and we plan to work through the chapters together, encouraging one another along the way. Valerie of Val Marie Papers has generously offered a book for one of you!
- This little cardi/vest/sweater is the most versatile thing our my closets (yes, we both have one!). Dress it up, dress it down... Wear it as a long sleeveless vest or long-sleeved cozy cardi. Add a tank, skinnies & boots - and you're ready to hit the streets and make good things happen. One lucky winner will receive this beauty, but keep your eye on Buckle for restocks or similar items!
- Luxe by Virtue is a good friend's jewelry line. Tracy's pieces are stunning and available only through boutiques and high end retailers... and here for one lucky person! This brand stands for all of the things we love: goodness, righteousness, integrity, dignity, honor, nobility, purity and worthiness (a portion of all proceeds go to Giving Hope NOLA, dedicated to feeding needy elderly in New Orleans). We are so excited to share these pieces with one of you. You can see more of her glistening beauties by following her Instagram and you can purchase online at Shop Bella Vita.
Teach your child to pray, learn to forgive no matter what, know that everyone is different and that’s ok! Some of the kindest hearts have nothing and would still give you the shirt of their back. Don’t break their spirit, as hard as this is for me, I KNOW I will be glad one day that I have a STRONG WILLED child. Thank you girls for all you do and for this MUCH NEEDED post.
My girls are still little at one and three years old. I try to teach them to be kind to each other and others by saying please, thank you, giving kisses and hugs. I also try to instill them to respect others and say they’re sorry when appropriate. As they get older, I hope to provide them a source of confidence and to be brave, to be nice to all even if the person is a bit different, to embrace differences, to volunteer and help others. Will be such an amazing journey to see them blossom. I hope I can always be there for them and that they feel comfortable to come to me with anything they need guidance with.
My goals for my children have always been to (1) love the Lord and (2) be empathetic of others. When I feel as though they need a reminder, I always quote one of my favorites from Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German pastor executed by the Nazis,
We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they
suffer.
I’ve really enjoyed reading this post and all the advice so far.
My advice is to travel as much as possible with your littles. Whether you have to opportunity to take them around the world, or just an hour or two away by car (or train), I truly believe it’s beneficial for children to be stretched outside their comfort zones, break routine, and see how others “do life.” I feel that it helps children gain perspective and understanding that the world doesn’t evolve only around them. Though the decades, we will meet people that come from all walks of life – and it’s always important to treat people with respect, and shun prejudices. Secondly, something I will pass onto my daughter is what my mom always told me from a young age: the true testament to one’s character is how you behave when no one is watching. This has stuck with me my entire life, and has always helped me make the right choices, big and small. :)
All you can do is Love! Love yourself and the people around you. We have to be an example for our babies! Not only teach them to do unto others as you wish they would do unto you, but also SHOW them how to be that person. Lead by example!
Teach our children to be the one to make the differences. Always be fair. Always be kind. Alwayes find a way to forgive the ones who hurt you. Be generous. Be charitable. Be sincere. Have patience. Be positive. Put yourself in everyone else’s shoes. Recognize our differences as a beautiful variety of traits God has given us. Smile as often as possible because smiling not only feeds positively to our selves but also to everyone who sees is. And always be a fisher of men. Know that there is always an opportunity to show the people around us God’s love and grace. We never know when a broken soul might be looking for hope in their dark times! Always let that light shine!