if not me...
If not us, then who If not me and you Right now, it’s time for us to do something If not now, then when Will we see an end To all this pain It’s not enough to do nothing It’s time for us to do something ~ Matthew West
It is 1995 and a boy sits alone at the lunch table. He's skinny and quiet, wearing a tattered Polo shirt. His name is Don. He typically roams the halls during lunch to avoid scenes like this, but today he is starved... So he eats, dodging occasional cheeto bullets from the next table. It is Friday so pep rally excitement fills the air. Don stares at his food, likely battling an internal voice yelling GET UP! RUN AWAY! And perhaps the voice almost wins. He's picking up his half-eaten tray when a cheerleader takes the seat beside him. She glares at her friends who sheepishly put their chips away as she starts a conversation. His behavior is often odd, to be sure, but he means no harm (years later he will be diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome). The bell rings and she rises to leave. He flashes a cautious smile and holds his head a little higher. They don't become best friends or eat together every day, but this is the last time he will feel humiliated and alone in the cafeteria. A line has been drawn in the sand, and a light cast on mean behavior that will no longer be glorified or tolerated. One girl, one small act of courage and kindness changes everything.
What did her parents do? Why, in the midst so much wrong, did she choose RIGHT? And how can we grow little humans who will become assets to humanity? Bullying, my friends, is alive and well... And not isolated to children. Social media has exacerbated the problem, allowing people to abuse one another behind the relative safety of their computers. And, good people, fearing they might be the next victim of widespread attacks, are unwilling to defend or protect the wronged. Like wildfire, negative news spreads, lies become truth, and wrongdoing is praised and passed on. Yikes. Thought it was hard being a kid in 1995? Good luck to our children if we don't make a stand now. We started Well Dressed Wolf with little more than a dream, a few sketches and our innocence. Somehow, little by little, our baby company started growing... and in just a few years has become something we never imagined. Along the way we have made friends (so many friends!). We've gained wisdom, honed our craft, learned valuable (sometimes costly!) lessons in business, and watched women come together for the good of each other and the world. We've celebrated babies being born and literally watched children grow up through pictures (wearing WDW!). In the early days, we jumped right into social media, joining the many groups that popped up in our name. Having never been involved in the underground world of children's clothing, it was a rush! Interacting with customers on such a personal level was thrilling and gratifying... Until it wasn't. Recently, we have stepped away from all groups (most of which are lovely places full of wonderful women!) because it was necessary. We didn't start this business to referee or participate in sparring factions of clothing lovers and buyers and sellers. We aren't politicians and have no desire to be. Our daily posts shouldn't be planned like a State of the Union address-- each word measured and monitored for potential hidden meaning or intention. We started this journey because we LOVE to design adorable things for your children and we LOVE getting to know so many good people who have rallied around our brand (and there are so many good people). In fact, a positive and inspiring community group will soon be launched exclusively for friends of Well Dressed Wolf. We hope you'll take part! We plan to pop in periodically and you'll get sneaks, make supportive friendships, take part in giveaways and have opportunities to help make the world a BETTER PLACE. It really is time to make social media a more positive experience again- for our children; for ourselves. Adults bullying one another and harassing businesses should never be okay.
As we tell our own children, you have CHOICES every day: seek darkness or seek light. Make a positive impact on the world or a negative one. Seek to inspire or to destroy. Do what you know is right- even when it isn't "cool". Don't seek revenge (no matter how much you want to!) and pray for the people who hurt you (this one is a toughie!). You aren't perfect and you'll make mistakes, so learn to apologize and forgive. Be honest, but be kind. Truth doesn't have to hurt... THESE are goals for our own lives (and business), and though we sometimes fall short, we are confident in the path we've chosen.
You're living the one and only life that God has gifted you, so make it count.
Love,
Sarah and Shannon
On that note, let's celebrate being good today. We have some sweet giveaways and links to happy places below:
- Our mantra for the day is BE A NICE HUMAN! And guess what? Our dear friend launched a company built to inspire just that! Our new favorite tank reminds everyone we meet to behave nicely in a modern, graphically pleasing font (bonus!). Danielle has generously offered a shirt, bag, candle and bracelet to one lucky person! Sidenote: you'll want to buy some for everyone you know, so here is their facebook page (where they happen to be hosting a giveaway of their own, so go check it out!).
- We are all works-in-progress. The Finishing School is a book we genuinely look forward to delving into! Several of our friends have also purchased the pre-order and we plan to work through the chapters together, encouraging one another along the way. Valerie of Val Marie Papers has generously offered a book for one of you!
- This little cardi/vest/sweater is the most versatile thing our my closets (yes, we both have one!). Dress it up, dress it down... Wear it as a long sleeveless vest or long-sleeved cozy cardi. Add a tank, skinnies & boots - and you're ready to hit the streets and make good things happen. One lucky winner will receive this beauty, but keep your eye on Buckle for restocks or similar items!
- Luxe by Virtue is a good friend's jewelry line. Tracy's pieces are stunning and available only through boutiques and high end retailers... and here for one lucky person! This brand stands for all of the things we love: goodness, righteousness, integrity, dignity, honor, nobility, purity and worthiness (a portion of all proceeds go to Giving Hope NOLA, dedicated to feeding needy elderly in New Orleans). We are so excited to share these pieces with one of you. You can see more of her glistening beauties by following her Instagram and you can purchase online at Shop Bella Vita.
Do unto others as you will have them do unto you. And Most important for parents is actions speak louder than words. Little eyes are constantly watching….so behave as a kind, thoughtful, helpful, courageous, loving adult and your children will follow your lead.
I think a few things are involved in raising respectful, thoughtful, kind, and compassionate children. First, they must have a heart for God. He molds their hearts to love His people. Second, we have to teach them to be brave…not afraid Togo against the status quo. Teach them they are beautiful and loved in an effort to make them comfortable in their own shoes, so it won’t matter what everyone else is doing. They’ll choose to sit at that table because they are strong enough and brave enough to do the opposite of everyone else. And lastly, we have to model the behavior ourselves. Open a dialogue about what is happening and be vocal about what our response is, and in some cases, should have been. Admit when we’ve messed up and teach them what a better choice would have been. You ladies are awesome, and have responded to all the harsh words with poise and wisdom…I’m sure y’all have a lot you could teach the world about this. :)
Every time I would see my Grandmother when I was a child, she would say “Stay Sweet. There’s too much meanness in the world.” I live by this and I hope I make her proud of the woman and mom I have become.
I loved reading about Don. Working with children with autism and developmental disabilities has often helped me view things in a different light. I always remember the great line in Horton Hears a Who by Dr. Suess -‘A person’s a person no matter how small’. I try every day to teach my children about acceptance, forgiveness, and kindness. i try to take a step back and take a breath before reacting. I may feel angry, but wait until I’m cool enough to reply. Some days I feel like a failure and my kids do something that tells me I’m getting through…it may be a simple as sharing their snack with a friend who forgot theirs or playing on the playground with a disabled classmate that the other kids tease and make fun of. Some days they are giving away their Halloween candy to the homeless and other days they rallying their classmates to help make a difference in their community. They may not change the world, but when I see them shine I know they are following in my footsteps.
As so many others have shared, I’ve already been using the Golden rule with my twin 3 1/2 year olds. If one does something not so nice to the other, then you turn it around and say would she have liked it if her sister did that to her? They are so sweet and thoughtful with others, but sometimes forget to do so with each other as most sisters do now and then (having a sister, I can definitely relate!). I was just talking the other day with my husband about how I think they might be ready soon to see the more recent Disney remake of Cinderella, and I love the message that they share in that movie – “Have courage, and be kind.” I think that fits what we are all sharing perfectly, and I look forward to having them watch the movie to take that away from it. We also praise their acts of kindness and encourage them to continue to do so, and try our best to lead by example.