if not me...
If not us, then who If not me and you Right now, it’s time for us to do something If not now, then when Will we see an end To all this pain It’s not enough to do nothing It’s time for us to do something ~ Matthew West
It is 1995 and a boy sits alone at the lunch table. He's skinny and quiet, wearing a tattered Polo shirt. His name is Don. He typically roams the halls during lunch to avoid scenes like this, but today he is starved... So he eats, dodging occasional cheeto bullets from the next table. It is Friday so pep rally excitement fills the air. Don stares at his food, likely battling an internal voice yelling GET UP! RUN AWAY! And perhaps the voice almost wins. He's picking up his half-eaten tray when a cheerleader takes the seat beside him. She glares at her friends who sheepishly put their chips away as she starts a conversation. His behavior is often odd, to be sure, but he means no harm (years later he will be diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome). The bell rings and she rises to leave. He flashes a cautious smile and holds his head a little higher. They don't become best friends or eat together every day, but this is the last time he will feel humiliated and alone in the cafeteria. A line has been drawn in the sand, and a light cast on mean behavior that will no longer be glorified or tolerated. One girl, one small act of courage and kindness changes everything.
What did her parents do? Why, in the midst so much wrong, did she choose RIGHT? And how can we grow little humans who will become assets to humanity? Bullying, my friends, is alive and well... And not isolated to children. Social media has exacerbated the problem, allowing people to abuse one another behind the relative safety of their computers. And, good people, fearing they might be the next victim of widespread attacks, are unwilling to defend or protect the wronged. Like wildfire, negative news spreads, lies become truth, and wrongdoing is praised and passed on. Yikes. Thought it was hard being a kid in 1995? Good luck to our children if we don't make a stand now. We started Well Dressed Wolf with little more than a dream, a few sketches and our innocence. Somehow, little by little, our baby company started growing... and in just a few years has become something we never imagined. Along the way we have made friends (so many friends!). We've gained wisdom, honed our craft, learned valuable (sometimes costly!) lessons in business, and watched women come together for the good of each other and the world. We've celebrated babies being born and literally watched children grow up through pictures (wearing WDW!). In the early days, we jumped right into social media, joining the many groups that popped up in our name. Having never been involved in the underground world of children's clothing, it was a rush! Interacting with customers on such a personal level was thrilling and gratifying... Until it wasn't. Recently, we have stepped away from all groups (most of which are lovely places full of wonderful women!) because it was necessary. We didn't start this business to referee or participate in sparring factions of clothing lovers and buyers and sellers. We aren't politicians and have no desire to be. Our daily posts shouldn't be planned like a State of the Union address-- each word measured and monitored for potential hidden meaning or intention. We started this journey because we LOVE to design adorable things for your children and we LOVE getting to know so many good people who have rallied around our brand (and there are so many good people). In fact, a positive and inspiring community group will soon be launched exclusively for friends of Well Dressed Wolf. We hope you'll take part! We plan to pop in periodically and you'll get sneaks, make supportive friendships, take part in giveaways and have opportunities to help make the world a BETTER PLACE. It really is time to make social media a more positive experience again- for our children; for ourselves. Adults bullying one another and harassing businesses should never be okay.
As we tell our own children, you have CHOICES every day: seek darkness or seek light. Make a positive impact on the world or a negative one. Seek to inspire or to destroy. Do what you know is right- even when it isn't "cool". Don't seek revenge (no matter how much you want to!) and pray for the people who hurt you (this one is a toughie!). You aren't perfect and you'll make mistakes, so learn to apologize and forgive. Be honest, but be kind. Truth doesn't have to hurt... THESE are goals for our own lives (and business), and though we sometimes fall short, we are confident in the path we've chosen.
You're living the one and only life that God has gifted you, so make it count.
Love,
Sarah and Shannon
On that note, let's celebrate being good today. We have some sweet giveaways and links to happy places below:
- Our mantra for the day is BE A NICE HUMAN! And guess what? Our dear friend launched a company built to inspire just that! Our new favorite tank reminds everyone we meet to behave nicely in a modern, graphically pleasing font (bonus!). Danielle has generously offered a shirt, bag, candle and bracelet to one lucky person! Sidenote: you'll want to buy some for everyone you know, so here is their facebook page (where they happen to be hosting a giveaway of their own, so go check it out!).
- We are all works-in-progress. The Finishing School is a book we genuinely look forward to delving into! Several of our friends have also purchased the pre-order and we plan to work through the chapters together, encouraging one another along the way. Valerie of Val Marie Papers has generously offered a book for one of you!
- This little cardi/vest/sweater is the most versatile thing our my closets (yes, we both have one!). Dress it up, dress it down... Wear it as a long sleeveless vest or long-sleeved cozy cardi. Add a tank, skinnies & boots - and you're ready to hit the streets and make good things happen. One lucky winner will receive this beauty, but keep your eye on Buckle for restocks or similar items!
- Luxe by Virtue is a good friend's jewelry line. Tracy's pieces are stunning and available only through boutiques and high end retailers... and here for one lucky person! This brand stands for all of the things we love: goodness, righteousness, integrity, dignity, honor, nobility, purity and worthiness (a portion of all proceeds go to Giving Hope NOLA, dedicated to feeding needy elderly in New Orleans). We are so excited to share these pieces with one of you. You can see more of her glistening beauties by following her Instagram and you can purchase online at Shop Bella Vita.
Thank you so much for this post. This has been on my heart so much lately. Our world is so broken right now and we all need to come together in kindness. We are each so beautifully different and It’s ok to disagree…but when we do we should do it without hateful words or hurtful actions. We try to impart on our children that it’s ok if someone doesn’t think the same way you do. You can still be kind to them and show each other compassion. We cannot control how others feel or how they act…we can only try and be an example to them and let God be in control. I will never forget when my oldest daughter came home from middle school one day and told me about a girl in one of her classes. This girl always sat all by herself and anytime they had to form groups she was never “chosen”…she was always alone and seemed very sad. My daughter decided that she wasn’t going to be alone that day. She asked the others in her group if they would mind if she asked her to join them. They all agreed. She approached this precious girl and invited her to join their group..and she did. That afternoon when she got home and told me this my heart was in my throat. I could not have been more proud of her…first that she noticed someone was hurting and that she chose to do something about it. She is my introvert so I know it took a lot of courage to approach her…but she followed her heart and God gave her that little push she needed. She has no idea of the impact that her actions could have made on that young girls heart..she just saw someone hurting and knew it was the right thing to do. I pray that my children live everyday showing others that kindness can move mountains.
This post made me so happy! There have been so many times I have read things that people have written on your WDW page and IG and I literally cringe and I am embarrassed for the people that act so ugly. I loved the little story. I am assuming it was one of you two sisters that you are writing about. I did similar things in HS and have always had a desire to help out the “underdog” so to speak. Regarding the question, I try to teach my children to be kind and courageous by assisting them in learning the joy in giving. I take opportunities at school for my daughter to take little gifts for different holidays and let her be the one that physically gives the items to her teachers and classmates so that she can see the smiles on their faces. I also try very hard not to just tell my daughter and son they are handsome or beautiful. I try to praise them when they do kind things and build them up from that. I have them be apart of getting rid of their toys and clothes and donate them to others who need them. I have organized collecting soup for the homeless and had them help me deliver it. On a daily basis I try to help my children see the positive in situations and direct them to focusing on the positive vs negative. When we are out in public I have them help me hold the door for others and let them witness me actually smiling and speaking to other people. A few weeks ago we were at an event where my three (almost 4) year old daughter was given a bouquet of balloons from a function that was cleaning up. She loved them and ran in the park playing with them for the longest time. There was an orange one in the bouquet of balloons and I remembered that one of my sweet friends dear friend just lost her 3 year old son two months ago to cancer and they had recently released orange balloons in his memory. I suggested to my daughter that we release the orange one for a little boy who was in heaven. She said yes. We said a little prayer and released the balloon and I took a photo to share with his momma to let her know her sweet boy is not forgotten by others. When it was time to leave, our daughter decided on her own that she wanted to share the remaining balloons with another little girl so she could enjoy them. She went over to hand them to the little girl. Once she went over, we realized the little girl didn’t speak English but my daughter handed them over with a smile and the little girl accepted with a smile. No words were needed. Kindness did the talking and it melted this momma’s heart and made me feel like I just may be doing something right.
Thanks for sharing this touching post! So heart warming, so true, so needed. For teaching my children there are several quotes I love, they are classic and forever true no matter what changes take place in life. Treat others how you want to be treated is the first. Anytime I have issues with unkind behavior the question is “how would you like it if someone did this to you” and what would you want them to say or do to you to make it better. I have 6 kids ages from 21 down to 2 I pray that they would be the cheerleader in your story I pray they would have empathy I pray they would think “how would I feel” I pray they would sit at that table. Another favorite for me is this “be kinder than necessary for everyone we meet is facing some sort of battle we know nothing about.” I once was placing an order at The Cookie Company in our local mall and the guy was rude he was really rude. I asked him what was wrong that he seemed mad and he didn’t have to be rude to me. His response was “You would be rude too if you had no heat and were sleeping in the cold every night.” I felt so bad for him I told him I’d pray for him and I was sorry, it did not change his attitude but it changed mine. I posted on some social media I can’t even remember what at the time and some people wanted to give him money. I gathered the money and a Bible and placed the bills at Bible verses throughout that meant something to me. I gave it to him when I picked up my cake and left we told our kids at the time everything. I have no clue what happened to him I have no idea now anything I just know that he really showed me You Never Know! I called him out and he opened up! Another and the last for this comment is Be The Change You Wish To See In The World. Someone once gave me a necklace with this on it it reminds me of my Grandpa. He spent a lot of time taking a stance against abortion. He wanted to “Stop Abortion dead In Its Tracks” he said this to me all the time as I typed up his petitions with scriptures and laws quoted through out. He went to politicians and churches and he did all he could to Be The Change that he so wanted to see. Of course I fail at being an example in this as a Momma, Wife, Friend, etc but these are my desires for my children these are my heart songs for their life. Recently my 9 year old son asked me what was my biggest wish. he said his was no school, seriously LOL! I thought for a bit and asked him if he knew the difference between Happiness and Joy, he didn’t and I explained. Happiness is based on circumstances, no school and your happy :) Joy comes from the Lord you have it inside of you regardless of circumstances and my biggest wish is for all of my kids to have joy through Jesus. Thanks for letting us share and pour our hearts out in this post.
I’m teaching my 4 children that the only ugly there is, is an ugly heart. Be kind to everyone especially that kid sitting all alone. Always use kind words and like my mom always told me you never know how people deal with pain don’t be the cause of it.
My grandmother taught me to ask myself 3 questions when confronted with a difficult situation. She said do not give them the dignity of a response if:
1) Is it kind?
2) Is it wise?
3) Is it true?
If it I couldn’t answer “yes” to all 3 questions, then it was better to not say anything at all.
I love my grandmother, she taught me many things, and I am trying to pass those thing along to my children as best as I can.