if not me...
If not us, then who If not me and you Right now, it’s time for us to do something If not now, then when Will we see an end To all this pain It’s not enough to do nothing It’s time for us to do something ~ Matthew West
It is 1995 and a boy sits alone at the lunch table. He's skinny and quiet, wearing a tattered Polo shirt. His name is Don. He typically roams the halls during lunch to avoid scenes like this, but today he is starved... So he eats, dodging occasional cheeto bullets from the next table. It is Friday so pep rally excitement fills the air. Don stares at his food, likely battling an internal voice yelling GET UP! RUN AWAY! And perhaps the voice almost wins. He's picking up his half-eaten tray when a cheerleader takes the seat beside him. She glares at her friends who sheepishly put their chips away as she starts a conversation. His behavior is often odd, to be sure, but he means no harm (years later he will be diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome). The bell rings and she rises to leave. He flashes a cautious smile and holds his head a little higher. They don't become best friends or eat together every day, but this is the last time he will feel humiliated and alone in the cafeteria. A line has been drawn in the sand, and a light cast on mean behavior that will no longer be glorified or tolerated. One girl, one small act of courage and kindness changes everything.
What did her parents do? Why, in the midst so much wrong, did she choose RIGHT? And how can we grow little humans who will become assets to humanity? Bullying, my friends, is alive and well... And not isolated to children. Social media has exacerbated the problem, allowing people to abuse one another behind the relative safety of their computers. And, good people, fearing they might be the next victim of widespread attacks, are unwilling to defend or protect the wronged. Like wildfire, negative news spreads, lies become truth, and wrongdoing is praised and passed on. Yikes. Thought it was hard being a kid in 1995? Good luck to our children if we don't make a stand now. We started Well Dressed Wolf with little more than a dream, a few sketches and our innocence. Somehow, little by little, our baby company started growing... and in just a few years has become something we never imagined. Along the way we have made friends (so many friends!). We've gained wisdom, honed our craft, learned valuable (sometimes costly!) lessons in business, and watched women come together for the good of each other and the world. We've celebrated babies being born and literally watched children grow up through pictures (wearing WDW!). In the early days, we jumped right into social media, joining the many groups that popped up in our name. Having never been involved in the underground world of children's clothing, it was a rush! Interacting with customers on such a personal level was thrilling and gratifying... Until it wasn't. Recently, we have stepped away from all groups (most of which are lovely places full of wonderful women!) because it was necessary. We didn't start this business to referee or participate in sparring factions of clothing lovers and buyers and sellers. We aren't politicians and have no desire to be. Our daily posts shouldn't be planned like a State of the Union address-- each word measured and monitored for potential hidden meaning or intention. We started this journey because we LOVE to design adorable things for your children and we LOVE getting to know so many good people who have rallied around our brand (and there are so many good people). In fact, a positive and inspiring community group will soon be launched exclusively for friends of Well Dressed Wolf. We hope you'll take part! We plan to pop in periodically and you'll get sneaks, make supportive friendships, take part in giveaways and have opportunities to help make the world a BETTER PLACE. It really is time to make social media a more positive experience again- for our children; for ourselves. Adults bullying one another and harassing businesses should never be okay.
As we tell our own children, you have CHOICES every day: seek darkness or seek light. Make a positive impact on the world or a negative one. Seek to inspire or to destroy. Do what you know is right- even when it isn't "cool". Don't seek revenge (no matter how much you want to!) and pray for the people who hurt you (this one is a toughie!). You aren't perfect and you'll make mistakes, so learn to apologize and forgive. Be honest, but be kind. Truth doesn't have to hurt... THESE are goals for our own lives (and business), and though we sometimes fall short, we are confident in the path we've chosen.
You're living the one and only life that God has gifted you, so make it count.
Love,
Sarah and Shannon
On that note, let's celebrate being good today. We have some sweet giveaways and links to happy places below:
- Our mantra for the day is BE A NICE HUMAN! And guess what? Our dear friend launched a company built to inspire just that! Our new favorite tank reminds everyone we meet to behave nicely in a modern, graphically pleasing font (bonus!). Danielle has generously offered a shirt, bag, candle and bracelet to one lucky person! Sidenote: you'll want to buy some for everyone you know, so here is their facebook page (where they happen to be hosting a giveaway of their own, so go check it out!).
- We are all works-in-progress. The Finishing School is a book we genuinely look forward to delving into! Several of our friends have also purchased the pre-order and we plan to work through the chapters together, encouraging one another along the way. Valerie of Val Marie Papers has generously offered a book for one of you!
- This little cardi/vest/sweater is the most versatile thing our my closets (yes, we both have one!). Dress it up, dress it down... Wear it as a long sleeveless vest or long-sleeved cozy cardi. Add a tank, skinnies & boots - and you're ready to hit the streets and make good things happen. One lucky winner will receive this beauty, but keep your eye on Buckle for restocks or similar items!
- Luxe by Virtue is a good friend's jewelry line. Tracy's pieces are stunning and available only through boutiques and high end retailers... and here for one lucky person! This brand stands for all of the things we love: goodness, righteousness, integrity, dignity, honor, nobility, purity and worthiness (a portion of all proceeds go to Giving Hope NOLA, dedicated to feeding needy elderly in New Orleans). We are so excited to share these pieces with one of you. You can see more of her glistening beauties by following her Instagram and you can purchase online at Shop Bella Vita.
My husband and I are Christian Counselors. One of the best books we’ve read about rearing children is “Shepherding A Child’s Heart” by Ted Tripp. We teach our children that this world is tough and we shouldn’t be surprised by sin. But we are to be gracious and kind to those who are hurting. Look for chances to encourage. Being cool is about having peace at heart and that is achieved and maintained by seeking to honor God and not others. He gives us the grace and mercy to share love and kindness. We love to teach these life lessons from Ephesians and Philippians. Philippians 2:3 says Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves. In the face of the nastiest words and the hardest situations there is wisdom to be found and there is a chance to give hope and be a great encourager.
When I was a child, I grew up in a very unhappy home. My parents were miserable with one another, yet wanted to stay together for “our” sake: meaning me and my siblings. My mother delt with her unhappiness by screaming at us. My father delt by ignoring us. I learned quickly as a child not to take anyone and anything for granted. We grew up in a beautiful home, we wore beautiful clothes, to beautifully imperfect people. And I learned from them how I did not want to treat anyone.
As an adult, my father admitted to me one day that it always drove my mom crazy when I came home with “strays.” I asked what he meant, and he said, “you found people that you could trust. Regardless of age, or how much money their parents had. You didn’t care about looks, the way your mother did. She wanted you to be friends with all the pretty girls, and you brought over anyone who would smile back at you. They were your strays, and still are today.”
And he was right: because of the home I grew up in, I was kind to everyone. And that’s what I want my children to understand. Everybody struggles in their lives. You cannot look at someone and judge them. If I had done so, I would be missing out on some of the greatest people in my life. e
This world is harsh. People are judged for literally everything. I just hope to raise my children to treat people with goodness, always. Honestly, all it takes is one person to stand up to a bullied child and it can become a beautiful friendship. A simple smile can brighten someone’s day. Ask someone how they are, not out of politeness, but because you genuinely want to know.
As parents, we are role models to our children. I only hope that we can show our children that change can happen with kindness. ❤️
Making good choices is part of everyday life with our family. We have already started to still “giving back” with our 2 and 1/2 year old daughter. We read books, we sing, and we talk about how can we help, and how can we make a difference together as a family.
Encouraging ‘sweet words’ and ‘helping our friends’ is what I’m trying to ingraining with my daughter, all while trying to learn patients, me included!
Thank you Wolf Pack for your encouragement and thank you for your sweetness!
I think confidence is key in raising children, confidence in being a parent and the decisions that you make (whether good or bad) we all have to learn from our mistakes. We also need to instill confidence in our children, to stand up for what they believe in, to make decisions and to face the consequences from poor choices with dignity and humility. But above confidence, raising kids takes a lot of faith and prayer. I can tell my kids something until I am blue in the face, but I can’t change their hearts, only God can, so faith and prayer that God will provide and shape their little hearts to one day turn into the strong, kind, compassionate and confident adult I hope to see one day.
If we as parents do not stand up and teach our children what is right then the world will sweep in quickly and teach them everything that is wrong. There are eight main goals that myself and church family are studying and striving towards as Christian parents. First and foremost, love your spouse unconditionally. Show this love and affection so that your children see the love you share. They learn from viewing your actions. Your spouse was there before children and will be there after. Next, love your children unconditionally. Tell them daily, show them, accept them, understand them, and most importantly take the time to always listen to them. The third goal is to lead your children to commit their lives to Christ. You must pray for their salvation, tell them about Jesus, share your salvation story with them, and let them see you serving the Lord consistently(not only at times of convenience). Then, teach your children the Word of God. Read the Bible with them, let them see you reading the Bible, teach them to memorize scripture, and teach them how to study the Bible. Ask and answer questions. Next, teach your children how to know and hear God’s voice. They should know the importance of a personal devotional life. Goal six is to teach your children to obey and respect authority. This is a huge issue that has been gaining a lot of national attention lately. God has authority over all. Children must learn this at an early age. Respect their parent’s authority, adult’s authority, teacher’s authority, employer’s authority, officer’s authority, government authority, etc. Next, teach your children self discipline. Teach them to be less impulsive and more reflective. The eighth and final goal is to enjoy being their parent! Take care of yourself, take care of your spouse, plan ahead in order to not be as stressed, laugh at yourself (this is important for your children to see), plan a weekly fun day during the summer and a monthly fun day during the school year. This may seem like a lot and overwhelming at first, but if practiced it will surely change their lives as well as your own.