if not me...
If not us, then who If not me and you Right now, it’s time for us to do something If not now, then when Will we see an end To all this pain It’s not enough to do nothing It’s time for us to do something ~ Matthew West
It is 1995 and a boy sits alone at the lunch table. He's skinny and quiet, wearing a tattered Polo shirt. His name is Don. He typically roams the halls during lunch to avoid scenes like this, but today he is starved... So he eats, dodging occasional cheeto bullets from the next table. It is Friday so pep rally excitement fills the air. Don stares at his food, likely battling an internal voice yelling GET UP! RUN AWAY! And perhaps the voice almost wins. He's picking up his half-eaten tray when a cheerleader takes the seat beside him. She glares at her friends who sheepishly put their chips away as she starts a conversation. His behavior is often odd, to be sure, but he means no harm (years later he will be diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome). The bell rings and she rises to leave. He flashes a cautious smile and holds his head a little higher. They don't become best friends or eat together every day, but this is the last time he will feel humiliated and alone in the cafeteria. A line has been drawn in the sand, and a light cast on mean behavior that will no longer be glorified or tolerated. One girl, one small act of courage and kindness changes everything.
What did her parents do? Why, in the midst so much wrong, did she choose RIGHT? And how can we grow little humans who will become assets to humanity? Bullying, my friends, is alive and well... And not isolated to children. Social media has exacerbated the problem, allowing people to abuse one another behind the relative safety of their computers. And, good people, fearing they might be the next victim of widespread attacks, are unwilling to defend or protect the wronged. Like wildfire, negative news spreads, lies become truth, and wrongdoing is praised and passed on. Yikes. Thought it was hard being a kid in 1995? Good luck to our children if we don't make a stand now. We started Well Dressed Wolf with little more than a dream, a few sketches and our innocence. Somehow, little by little, our baby company started growing... and in just a few years has become something we never imagined. Along the way we have made friends (so many friends!). We've gained wisdom, honed our craft, learned valuable (sometimes costly!) lessons in business, and watched women come together for the good of each other and the world. We've celebrated babies being born and literally watched children grow up through pictures (wearing WDW!). In the early days, we jumped right into social media, joining the many groups that popped up in our name. Having never been involved in the underground world of children's clothing, it was a rush! Interacting with customers on such a personal level was thrilling and gratifying... Until it wasn't. Recently, we have stepped away from all groups (most of which are lovely places full of wonderful women!) because it was necessary. We didn't start this business to referee or participate in sparring factions of clothing lovers and buyers and sellers. We aren't politicians and have no desire to be. Our daily posts shouldn't be planned like a State of the Union address-- each word measured and monitored for potential hidden meaning or intention. We started this journey because we LOVE to design adorable things for your children and we LOVE getting to know so many good people who have rallied around our brand (and there are so many good people). In fact, a positive and inspiring community group will soon be launched exclusively for friends of Well Dressed Wolf. We hope you'll take part! We plan to pop in periodically and you'll get sneaks, make supportive friendships, take part in giveaways and have opportunities to help make the world a BETTER PLACE. It really is time to make social media a more positive experience again- for our children; for ourselves. Adults bullying one another and harassing businesses should never be okay.
As we tell our own children, you have CHOICES every day: seek darkness or seek light. Make a positive impact on the world or a negative one. Seek to inspire or to destroy. Do what you know is right- even when it isn't "cool". Don't seek revenge (no matter how much you want to!) and pray for the people who hurt you (this one is a toughie!). You aren't perfect and you'll make mistakes, so learn to apologize and forgive. Be honest, but be kind. Truth doesn't have to hurt... THESE are goals for our own lives (and business), and though we sometimes fall short, we are confident in the path we've chosen.
You're living the one and only life that God has gifted you, so make it count.
Love,
Sarah and Shannon
On that note, let's celebrate being good today. We have some sweet giveaways and links to happy places below:
- Our mantra for the day is BE A NICE HUMAN! And guess what? Our dear friend launched a company built to inspire just that! Our new favorite tank reminds everyone we meet to behave nicely in a modern, graphically pleasing font (bonus!). Danielle has generously offered a shirt, bag, candle and bracelet to one lucky person! Sidenote: you'll want to buy some for everyone you know, so here is their facebook page (where they happen to be hosting a giveaway of their own, so go check it out!).
- We are all works-in-progress. The Finishing School is a book we genuinely look forward to delving into! Several of our friends have also purchased the pre-order and we plan to work through the chapters together, encouraging one another along the way. Valerie of Val Marie Papers has generously offered a book for one of you!
- This little cardi/vest/sweater is the most versatile thing our my closets (yes, we both have one!). Dress it up, dress it down... Wear it as a long sleeveless vest or long-sleeved cozy cardi. Add a tank, skinnies & boots - and you're ready to hit the streets and make good things happen. One lucky winner will receive this beauty, but keep your eye on Buckle for restocks or similar items!
- Luxe by Virtue is a good friend's jewelry line. Tracy's pieces are stunning and available only through boutiques and high end retailers... and here for one lucky person! This brand stands for all of the things we love: goodness, righteousness, integrity, dignity, honor, nobility, purity and worthiness (a portion of all proceeds go to Giving Hope NOLA, dedicated to feeding needy elderly in New Orleans). We are so excited to share these pieces with one of you. You can see more of her glistening beauties by following her Instagram and you can purchase online at Shop Bella Vita.
We model the behavior we want our children to show, when we do make mistakes which let’s face it is often, we do our best to make things right. Perfection is not possible, but kindness is always achievable.
My life is the most closely followed example of kindness and bravery that my children will follow.
One day this summer, my almost 4 year old daughter asked me why I talked to a lady I didn’t know in a parking lot. I told her that I was being friendly and the lady looked like she needed someone to speak to her to brighten her day. My daughter said, “How do you know she needed that, when she was just frowning? She looked angry.” I reminded her as I had many times before that we don’t know what the lady had been through or how difficult it was for her to even get to the store that day. She still deserved for us to be kind, even if she wasn’t feeling kind herself. My girl thought on that one as we went through the store and as we were stuck in a mile-long check out line she said, “Mama, I’ve been thinking. At school our rule is to ‘BE A GOOD FRIEND’ and I think you were a good friend to that angry lady. I’m going to be a good friend to someone in a bad mood too.” It took all I had not to laugh at the four-year-old phrasing of that comment, but as I was holding it together, it was our turn to put the items on the counter and check out and suddenly my girl says to the cashier, “I don’t know if you’re having a good day or not, but I’m going to sing you a song.” And she sang This Little Light of Mine (LOUDLY!) to the cashier and had everyone within earshot smiling and clapping. As we left she said to me, “I like making people smile and helping them have a good day. This is a good idea, Mama.” I laughed and cried and still do when I think of how my example was so closely watched, interpreted, and mirrored in her own way and I constantly pray for my children to know the value in being kind and brave in this competitive world. :)
I feel so unqualified for giving anyone parental advice. I am the mother of a 3 year old so the love, kisses and words of encouragement are what best works for us right now. And of course, teaching her to share and be kind to others. My husband and I had the privilege of raising 2 of our nieces for 5 years and we would both agree that a standout moment to us and them regarding how to treat others came when we were very honest about how we had treated others growing up. I would never consider myself a bully and in fact, I was the one who was bullied. But, in a moment of anger and mostly to take the attention off of myself, I joined in bullying a fellow classmate. What I shared with my nieces was how deeply ashamed I was even 20 years later, it was something that I had never forgotten. My hurtful words and the hurtful look on her face was something that I will NEVER forget. Being open and very honest about what I had done and explaining the hurt that I had felt and ultimately caused was very eye opening for them. They would often say that they remembered what I had said and instead of joining in on the bullying, that they instead took that person aside and became a friend to them. I will share this with my daughter too when the time is right and of course teach her about the deep love of Christ. And that love heals and forgives and is the most beautiful gift that we can share with someone else. I also strive to be an example. I want them to see me being kind to others no matter the situation. We live in what I think are much darker times and now more than ever, it is imperative that our children learn to love one another first as Christ loves us. Thank you for this wonderful opportunity to reflect on this teaching moment in our lives. Your blog touched my heart and added flame to the fire to be purposeful with my words and actions. Thank you!
We try to parent by example and work together as a family in giving, serving and being kind. Our children are also encouraged by our kindness jars. We deposit chips when we notice or they are complimented on giving, serving or being kind. The chips can be traded in for afterschool treats, trips to a park or zoo or a date with mom or dad. When doing our chips, they have the opportunity to brag on each other. Their faces light up when a sibling recognizes their kindness. Do I think this is enough? I’m not sure, but I hope if I lead by example, reinforce our values and recognize their efforts it will stick even when I’m not there. One of my proudest moments as a parent was when a couple in our Sunday School class told us how thankful they were for my son. Their son had been having a hard year and our son had befriended him. That definitely made my heart swell with gladness.
The question I tell my kids to ask themselves; Are my actions helping or hurting? It can be applied in nearly all situations, I hope it’s something they carry with as they grow.