if not me...
If not us, then who If not me and you Right now, it’s time for us to do something If not now, then when Will we see an end To all this pain It’s not enough to do nothing It’s time for us to do something ~ Matthew West
It is 1995 and a boy sits alone at the lunch table. He's skinny and quiet, wearing a tattered Polo shirt. His name is Don. He typically roams the halls during lunch to avoid scenes like this, but today he is starved... So he eats, dodging occasional cheeto bullets from the next table. It is Friday so pep rally excitement fills the air. Don stares at his food, likely battling an internal voice yelling GET UP! RUN AWAY! And perhaps the voice almost wins. He's picking up his half-eaten tray when a cheerleader takes the seat beside him. She glares at her friends who sheepishly put their chips away as she starts a conversation. His behavior is often odd, to be sure, but he means no harm (years later he will be diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome). The bell rings and she rises to leave. He flashes a cautious smile and holds his head a little higher. They don't become best friends or eat together every day, but this is the last time he will feel humiliated and alone in the cafeteria. A line has been drawn in the sand, and a light cast on mean behavior that will no longer be glorified or tolerated. One girl, one small act of courage and kindness changes everything.
What did her parents do? Why, in the midst so much wrong, did she choose RIGHT? And how can we grow little humans who will become assets to humanity? Bullying, my friends, is alive and well... And not isolated to children. Social media has exacerbated the problem, allowing people to abuse one another behind the relative safety of their computers. And, good people, fearing they might be the next victim of widespread attacks, are unwilling to defend or protect the wronged. Like wildfire, negative news spreads, lies become truth, and wrongdoing is praised and passed on. Yikes. Thought it was hard being a kid in 1995? Good luck to our children if we don't make a stand now. We started Well Dressed Wolf with little more than a dream, a few sketches and our innocence. Somehow, little by little, our baby company started growing... and in just a few years has become something we never imagined. Along the way we have made friends (so many friends!). We've gained wisdom, honed our craft, learned valuable (sometimes costly!) lessons in business, and watched women come together for the good of each other and the world. We've celebrated babies being born and literally watched children grow up through pictures (wearing WDW!). In the early days, we jumped right into social media, joining the many groups that popped up in our name. Having never been involved in the underground world of children's clothing, it was a rush! Interacting with customers on such a personal level was thrilling and gratifying... Until it wasn't. Recently, we have stepped away from all groups (most of which are lovely places full of wonderful women!) because it was necessary. We didn't start this business to referee or participate in sparring factions of clothing lovers and buyers and sellers. We aren't politicians and have no desire to be. Our daily posts shouldn't be planned like a State of the Union address-- each word measured and monitored for potential hidden meaning or intention. We started this journey because we LOVE to design adorable things for your children and we LOVE getting to know so many good people who have rallied around our brand (and there are so many good people). In fact, a positive and inspiring community group will soon be launched exclusively for friends of Well Dressed Wolf. We hope you'll take part! We plan to pop in periodically and you'll get sneaks, make supportive friendships, take part in giveaways and have opportunities to help make the world a BETTER PLACE. It really is time to make social media a more positive experience again- for our children; for ourselves. Adults bullying one another and harassing businesses should never be okay.
As we tell our own children, you have CHOICES every day: seek darkness or seek light. Make a positive impact on the world or a negative one. Seek to inspire or to destroy. Do what you know is right- even when it isn't "cool". Don't seek revenge (no matter how much you want to!) and pray for the people who hurt you (this one is a toughie!). You aren't perfect and you'll make mistakes, so learn to apologize and forgive. Be honest, but be kind. Truth doesn't have to hurt... THESE are goals for our own lives (and business), and though we sometimes fall short, we are confident in the path we've chosen.
You're living the one and only life that God has gifted you, so make it count.
Love,
Sarah and Shannon
On that note, let's celebrate being good today. We have some sweet giveaways and links to happy places below:
- Our mantra for the day is BE A NICE HUMAN! And guess what? Our dear friend launched a company built to inspire just that! Our new favorite tank reminds everyone we meet to behave nicely in a modern, graphically pleasing font (bonus!). Danielle has generously offered a shirt, bag, candle and bracelet to one lucky person! Sidenote: you'll want to buy some for everyone you know, so here is their facebook page (where they happen to be hosting a giveaway of their own, so go check it out!).
- We are all works-in-progress. The Finishing School is a book we genuinely look forward to delving into! Several of our friends have also purchased the pre-order and we plan to work through the chapters together, encouraging one another along the way. Valerie of Val Marie Papers has generously offered a book for one of you!
- This little cardi/vest/sweater is the most versatile thing our my closets (yes, we both have one!). Dress it up, dress it down... Wear it as a long sleeveless vest or long-sleeved cozy cardi. Add a tank, skinnies & boots - and you're ready to hit the streets and make good things happen. One lucky winner will receive this beauty, but keep your eye on Buckle for restocks or similar items!
- Luxe by Virtue is a good friend's jewelry line. Tracy's pieces are stunning and available only through boutiques and high end retailers... and here for one lucky person! This brand stands for all of the things we love: goodness, righteousness, integrity, dignity, honor, nobility, purity and worthiness (a portion of all proceeds go to Giving Hope NOLA, dedicated to feeding needy elderly in New Orleans). We are so excited to share these pieces with one of you. You can see more of her glistening beauties by following her Instagram and you can purchase online at Shop Bella Vita.
Lead by example. Treat others kindly with your words and actions. These tiny little humans do and say what we say. Treat them with respect, treat our spouses with respect, treat strangers with respect. They see us and emulate. Take risks. Be happy. The best advice I can give other parents is to act as you wish your little to act. They love and trust us with their whole little beings and will do anything to make us happy. Help them to be happy by being happy yourself.
My parents always told me….you are not better than anybody else, never act like you are. You are all equal and all deserve respect.
Live in the moment. If your busy and your child wants you to look at something. STOP, LOOK and LISTEN. That moment is about to pass by and your going to miss it. Children want to be heard… really stop and truly love listening to them. Raise your boys to be gentlemen and girls to be ladies. And you’ll never have to search or read a blog about mean girls.
I love this so much. And in all honesty it made me teary because I’ve really been struggling with the example I’ve been setting this summer. I have 3, and a husband who travels a lot, and I’ve found myself overwhelmed this summer by staying home with my new family dynamic (my baby is about to turn 1!) and struggling to juggle the needs of a baby, a toddler and a kid. I’m a yeller when I’m stressed, and I recently heard my oldest daughter yelling at my toddler son, and she sounded just like me!!
I took her aside and we talked. I apologized. For all the fun we’ve had this summer, when things get stressful I’m the one who is setting the tone for the day. And I haven’t been doing a good job. We talked a lot about kindness and treating others how you want to be treated. And the line from the movie Cinderella that she and I saw together this summer came up: “have courage and be kind.” And now we say it a lot.
Little brother won’t stop pestering you? Have courage and be kind. He completely blossoms from attention from his big sis.
Big girl comes at me with a bunch of questions while the baby is screaming? Have courage and be kind – she’s not trying to annoy the heck out of me!
Mommy is feeding the baby but you’re hungry? Have courage and be kind, little man! Mommy will always take care of you too!
These little family dynamics are like a practice ring (with a safety net) for the big, wide world and I am working on setting a good example, apologizing when I stumble, and reminding myself and my littles to have courage and be kind ?
“Unquestioning grace.” My husband and I have been blessed to have a most amazing marriage counselor who taught us so much about truly loving as Christ loved us, and loves his bride- the church. He advised us to always offer an abundance of grace toward persons who cause us offense (in that context, it was the husband/wife relationship, but I realized VERY quickly, that principal could be applied to all relationships and personal interactions. Each morning we pray out loud over our children before they head out the door to school. In that prayer, every day, we pray that they would each be beacons of love and grace in a world that needs and abundance of both. I think having that prayer be the last thing on their mind before they arch out onto the “battlefield”, they have the love of Christ fresh on their minds. After school each day, we ask 2 things: (1) How did you help someone today? And (2) Were you given the opportunity to forgive someone today? We’ve been asking those questions long enough now (they are in 4th and 2nd grades), that they are almost offering up the answers to both before we even get the chance to ask! We also make it a point to ask them in the company of each other, hopefully increasing the scope of learning moments. We ask that before they react to an offense in a “knee jerk” way, that they count to three in their mind, and ask themselves (1) why does this hurt me so? and (2) what could have happened prior to my interaction with this person that could have caused them to act this way?
Having them understand their feelings are valid and worth acknowledging, while simultaneously knowing the value in humbling themselves before others is a challenging balance to establish as parents, but I think it’s crucial to them becoming compassionate and empathetic members of society. We “preach” unconditional grace, but we also live that example out loud toward one another at home, for what they practice at home, they will have more confidence in when out in the world.