if not me...
If not us, then who If not me and you Right now, it’s time for us to do something If not now, then when Will we see an end To all this pain It’s not enough to do nothing It’s time for us to do something ~ Matthew West
It is 1995 and a boy sits alone at the lunch table. He's skinny and quiet, wearing a tattered Polo shirt. His name is Don. He typically roams the halls during lunch to avoid scenes like this, but today he is starved... So he eats, dodging occasional cheeto bullets from the next table. It is Friday so pep rally excitement fills the air. Don stares at his food, likely battling an internal voice yelling GET UP! RUN AWAY! And perhaps the voice almost wins. He's picking up his half-eaten tray when a cheerleader takes the seat beside him. She glares at her friends who sheepishly put their chips away as she starts a conversation. His behavior is often odd, to be sure, but he means no harm (years later he will be diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome). The bell rings and she rises to leave. He flashes a cautious smile and holds his head a little higher. They don't become best friends or eat together every day, but this is the last time he will feel humiliated and alone in the cafeteria. A line has been drawn in the sand, and a light cast on mean behavior that will no longer be glorified or tolerated. One girl, one small act of courage and kindness changes everything.
What did her parents do? Why, in the midst so much wrong, did she choose RIGHT? And how can we grow little humans who will become assets to humanity? Bullying, my friends, is alive and well... And not isolated to children. Social media has exacerbated the problem, allowing people to abuse one another behind the relative safety of their computers. And, good people, fearing they might be the next victim of widespread attacks, are unwilling to defend or protect the wronged. Like wildfire, negative news spreads, lies become truth, and wrongdoing is praised and passed on. Yikes. Thought it was hard being a kid in 1995? Good luck to our children if we don't make a stand now. We started Well Dressed Wolf with little more than a dream, a few sketches and our innocence. Somehow, little by little, our baby company started growing... and in just a few years has become something we never imagined. Along the way we have made friends (so many friends!). We've gained wisdom, honed our craft, learned valuable (sometimes costly!) lessons in business, and watched women come together for the good of each other and the world. We've celebrated babies being born and literally watched children grow up through pictures (wearing WDW!). In the early days, we jumped right into social media, joining the many groups that popped up in our name. Having never been involved in the underground world of children's clothing, it was a rush! Interacting with customers on such a personal level was thrilling and gratifying... Until it wasn't. Recently, we have stepped away from all groups (most of which are lovely places full of wonderful women!) because it was necessary. We didn't start this business to referee or participate in sparring factions of clothing lovers and buyers and sellers. We aren't politicians and have no desire to be. Our daily posts shouldn't be planned like a State of the Union address-- each word measured and monitored for potential hidden meaning or intention. We started this journey because we LOVE to design adorable things for your children and we LOVE getting to know so many good people who have rallied around our brand (and there are so many good people). In fact, a positive and inspiring community group will soon be launched exclusively for friends of Well Dressed Wolf. We hope you'll take part! We plan to pop in periodically and you'll get sneaks, make supportive friendships, take part in giveaways and have opportunities to help make the world a BETTER PLACE. It really is time to make social media a more positive experience again- for our children; for ourselves. Adults bullying one another and harassing businesses should never be okay.
As we tell our own children, you have CHOICES every day: seek darkness or seek light. Make a positive impact on the world or a negative one. Seek to inspire or to destroy. Do what you know is right- even when it isn't "cool". Don't seek revenge (no matter how much you want to!) and pray for the people who hurt you (this one is a toughie!). You aren't perfect and you'll make mistakes, so learn to apologize and forgive. Be honest, but be kind. Truth doesn't have to hurt... THESE are goals for our own lives (and business), and though we sometimes fall short, we are confident in the path we've chosen.
You're living the one and only life that God has gifted you, so make it count.
Love,
Sarah and Shannon
On that note, let's celebrate being good today. We have some sweet giveaways and links to happy places below:
- Our mantra for the day is BE A NICE HUMAN! And guess what? Our dear friend launched a company built to inspire just that! Our new favorite tank reminds everyone we meet to behave nicely in a modern, graphically pleasing font (bonus!). Danielle has generously offered a shirt, bag, candle and bracelet to one lucky person! Sidenote: you'll want to buy some for everyone you know, so here is their facebook page (where they happen to be hosting a giveaway of their own, so go check it out!).
- We are all works-in-progress. The Finishing School is a book we genuinely look forward to delving into! Several of our friends have also purchased the pre-order and we plan to work through the chapters together, encouraging one another along the way. Valerie of Val Marie Papers has generously offered a book for one of you!
- This little cardi/vest/sweater is the most versatile thing our my closets (yes, we both have one!). Dress it up, dress it down... Wear it as a long sleeveless vest or long-sleeved cozy cardi. Add a tank, skinnies & boots - and you're ready to hit the streets and make good things happen. One lucky winner will receive this beauty, but keep your eye on Buckle for restocks or similar items!
- Luxe by Virtue is a good friend's jewelry line. Tracy's pieces are stunning and available only through boutiques and high end retailers... and here for one lucky person! This brand stands for all of the things we love: goodness, righteousness, integrity, dignity, honor, nobility, purity and worthiness (a portion of all proceeds go to Giving Hope NOLA, dedicated to feeding needy elderly in New Orleans). We are so excited to share these pieces with one of you. You can see more of her glistening beauties by following her Instagram and you can purchase online at Shop Bella Vita.
I think one of the keys to raising kind humans is to remind them – by showing and telling them daily – that they are unconditionally loved and accepted. Being rooted and grounded in love will give them the courage they need to offer the same to the world around them. I think this includes telling them that they can always come to us no matter what and choosing not to shame them when they make mistakes. It’s about being present, talking every day, being comfortably quiet together, having adventures together, choosing to talk about the uncomfortable stuff (even when it makes us uncomfortable, not just them), and teaching them how to be at ease with themselves by being at ease with ourselves. It’s about reminding them that they belong, even as they shape their beliefs. It’s about giving them the space to choose for themselves while offering them a foundation of faith and values that will leave a legacy of hope and meaning. It’s about modelling and humility and failing forward together. It’s about learning and growing together. It’s about laughter and tears and making memories. It’s about love as the unconditional glue that holds us all together. It’s about a million things and about just one thing. It’s about love.
To love yourself first. Despite your imperfections remember that you are perfectly imperfect.
To treat your brothers and sisters with kindness…they are your first friends and can be your forever friend.
To be a good listener…listen with your ears and your eyes. And validate what people are feeling/saying.
Know when to apologize and how to do it correctly.
You’ll never regret being a friend, but you may never forgive yourself for not being one. Growing up I had a friend who for some reason was the odd man out. She could do nothing right for some people. I shared a locker with her when everyone else refused. I went to all her birthday parties. We went to church together, and stayed friends even when she switched schools in high school. I had high hopes that she would find friends and be accepted. Unfortunately, it was more of the same. Those last fours years of school I would only see her on the weekends at church. I never knew she was having trouble at her new school. Two weeks before graduation, she decided to leave us. I was devastated and angry at so many people who were not nice to her. Her dad made a point to tell my parents how much she loved me and that I was always a good friend. For years, I had reoccurring dreams of her coming to my high school and telling her how everything would be fine here. It took years for me to deal with the loss. It changed me, but not for the worse- better. I am a teacher. I am a mother. I am a coach to middle school girls. I make a point to tell all of the children I work with “you will never regret being a friend, but you may never forgive yourself for not being one”.
You will never regret being a friend, but you may never forgive yourself for not being one. Growing up I had a friend for some reason was always the odd man out. She could do nothing right by some people. I shared a locker with her when everyone else refused. I went to all her birthday parties when others never did. We went to church together, and stayed friends even when she went to a different high school. I had high hopes that she would find new friends and be accepted. Unfortunately, she did not as it was more of the same. Those last four years of school, I would only see her on the weekends at church (when she came). I never knew she was having trouble at her new school. Two weeks before graduation, she decided to leave us. I was devastated and angry at so many people for not being nice to her. Her dad made a point to tell my parents how she loved me and that I had always been a good friend. Not good enough is what I thought. It took years for me to deal with the loss. I had reoccurring dreams of her coming to my high school, and I kept saying to her how she would fit in here. It changed me, but not for worse really better. I am a mom, teacher and coach to middle school girls. I use my pain to share with them the importance of friendship and acceptance. I tell them all, “You will never regret being a friend, but you may never forgive yourself for not being one”. Always be a friend.
Teach your children: Treat others as you want to be treated. Say sorry, ask forgiveness, make mistakes and learn from them. It’s simple but oh so hard <3