if not me...
If not us, then who If not me and you Right now, it’s time for us to do something If not now, then when Will we see an end To all this pain It’s not enough to do nothing It’s time for us to do something ~ Matthew West
It is 1995 and a boy sits alone at the lunch table. He's skinny and quiet, wearing a tattered Polo shirt. His name is Don. He typically roams the halls during lunch to avoid scenes like this, but today he is starved... So he eats, dodging occasional cheeto bullets from the next table. It is Friday so pep rally excitement fills the air. Don stares at his food, likely battling an internal voice yelling GET UP! RUN AWAY! And perhaps the voice almost wins. He's picking up his half-eaten tray when a cheerleader takes the seat beside him. She glares at her friends who sheepishly put their chips away as she starts a conversation. His behavior is often odd, to be sure, but he means no harm (years later he will be diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome). The bell rings and she rises to leave. He flashes a cautious smile and holds his head a little higher. They don't become best friends or eat together every day, but this is the last time he will feel humiliated and alone in the cafeteria. A line has been drawn in the sand, and a light cast on mean behavior that will no longer be glorified or tolerated. One girl, one small act of courage and kindness changes everything.
What did her parents do? Why, in the midst so much wrong, did she choose RIGHT? And how can we grow little humans who will become assets to humanity? Bullying, my friends, is alive and well... And not isolated to children. Social media has exacerbated the problem, allowing people to abuse one another behind the relative safety of their computers. And, good people, fearing they might be the next victim of widespread attacks, are unwilling to defend or protect the wronged. Like wildfire, negative news spreads, lies become truth, and wrongdoing is praised and passed on. Yikes. Thought it was hard being a kid in 1995? Good luck to our children if we don't make a stand now. We started Well Dressed Wolf with little more than a dream, a few sketches and our innocence. Somehow, little by little, our baby company started growing... and in just a few years has become something we never imagined. Along the way we have made friends (so many friends!). We've gained wisdom, honed our craft, learned valuable (sometimes costly!) lessons in business, and watched women come together for the good of each other and the world. We've celebrated babies being born and literally watched children grow up through pictures (wearing WDW!). In the early days, we jumped right into social media, joining the many groups that popped up in our name. Having never been involved in the underground world of children's clothing, it was a rush! Interacting with customers on such a personal level was thrilling and gratifying... Until it wasn't. Recently, we have stepped away from all groups (most of which are lovely places full of wonderful women!) because it was necessary. We didn't start this business to referee or participate in sparring factions of clothing lovers and buyers and sellers. We aren't politicians and have no desire to be. Our daily posts shouldn't be planned like a State of the Union address-- each word measured and monitored for potential hidden meaning or intention. We started this journey because we LOVE to design adorable things for your children and we LOVE getting to know so many good people who have rallied around our brand (and there are so many good people). In fact, a positive and inspiring community group will soon be launched exclusively for friends of Well Dressed Wolf. We hope you'll take part! We plan to pop in periodically and you'll get sneaks, make supportive friendships, take part in giveaways and have opportunities to help make the world a BETTER PLACE. It really is time to make social media a more positive experience again- for our children; for ourselves. Adults bullying one another and harassing businesses should never be okay.
As we tell our own children, you have CHOICES every day: seek darkness or seek light. Make a positive impact on the world or a negative one. Seek to inspire or to destroy. Do what you know is right- even when it isn't "cool". Don't seek revenge (no matter how much you want to!) and pray for the people who hurt you (this one is a toughie!). You aren't perfect and you'll make mistakes, so learn to apologize and forgive. Be honest, but be kind. Truth doesn't have to hurt... THESE are goals for our own lives (and business), and though we sometimes fall short, we are confident in the path we've chosen.
You're living the one and only life that God has gifted you, so make it count.
Love,
Sarah and Shannon
On that note, let's celebrate being good today. We have some sweet giveaways and links to happy places below:
- Our mantra for the day is BE A NICE HUMAN! And guess what? Our dear friend launched a company built to inspire just that! Our new favorite tank reminds everyone we meet to behave nicely in a modern, graphically pleasing font (bonus!). Danielle has generously offered a shirt, bag, candle and bracelet to one lucky person! Sidenote: you'll want to buy some for everyone you know, so here is their facebook page (where they happen to be hosting a giveaway of their own, so go check it out!).
- We are all works-in-progress. The Finishing School is a book we genuinely look forward to delving into! Several of our friends have also purchased the pre-order and we plan to work through the chapters together, encouraging one another along the way. Valerie of Val Marie Papers has generously offered a book for one of you!
- This little cardi/vest/sweater is the most versatile thing our my closets (yes, we both have one!). Dress it up, dress it down... Wear it as a long sleeveless vest or long-sleeved cozy cardi. Add a tank, skinnies & boots - and you're ready to hit the streets and make good things happen. One lucky winner will receive this beauty, but keep your eye on Buckle for restocks or similar items!
- Luxe by Virtue is a good friend's jewelry line. Tracy's pieces are stunning and available only through boutiques and high end retailers... and here for one lucky person! This brand stands for all of the things we love: goodness, righteousness, integrity, dignity, honor, nobility, purity and worthiness (a portion of all proceeds go to Giving Hope NOLA, dedicated to feeding needy elderly in New Orleans). We are so excited to share these pieces with one of you. You can see more of her glistening beauties by following her Instagram and you can purchase online at Shop Bella Vita.
I believe no matter what we say, it is what we do, and who we be that will make the most impact on our children. They are watching everything we do. I would say be honest, be true, apologize, do not be afraid to admit mistakes, be humble, give without expecting receipt. If conflict arises take the time to explain what and why and how it could/should be resolved. Try to always come from a place of love, and when that is not possible try the 3 second (how could this possibly play out at this time) pause.That can often completely change the outcome of a situation for the better. Remind children and parents alike that our thoughts can make all the difference. Thoughts create reality, they create life. From the words of the great Wayne Dyer " When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself."
I believe in order for children to be intrinsically kind they need to fully inderstand how to be empathetic. They need to be taught how to put themselves in other people’s shoes without having to walk a mile first.
My grandfather has been a physician in our small town if Thibodaux for over 60 years. He always has a kind word and smile for everyone he meets. He greets people by name, asks how they and their family are doing, and takes time to chat. In this rushed world, it can be hard to follow this example. I still run into his patients who have so many good things to say about him and how they wish he was still practicing. Installing this kindness in my daughter has been my goal as a parent. “Soft and gentle” is a mantra repeated in our home reminding not just about actions, but about our words. It has also reminded me how to speak to my daughter, even when her toddler years have left me so incredibly frustrated. Soft and gentle. Soft and gentle. Soft and gentle. “The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice” and shapes their future.
I think I’ve deleted this comment a dozen times now from fear of sharing this personal information about myself, but here goes… I have borderline personality disorder, it basically means I am a very sensitive person that had difficulty managing emotions, with a history of self harm. I’ve since received world class treatment for this and am happy to say that I no longer struggle with emotion regulation to the extent that I used to. During treatment I came to understand how important validation is. If I would have had that as a child as opposed to being told “I shouldn’t be crying” or “get over it” I might have felt supported instead of feeling like I was stupid or the litany of other critical thoughts I had of myself. I think validation of people’s feelings is an important quality and this is why I try very hard to not dismiss my toddlers feelings no matter how trivial they seem. If I treat her like her feelings matter then hopefully she will in turn treat others with the same care, respect and love. Sincerely, wdwfan
Be kind. It’s so simple, but so true — so powerful. I fail. More than I like to admit. Those two words were always coming out of my momma’s mouth. Sometimes in a soft, sweet voice that would make a little girl feel like she could do anything. Sometimes quickly said through gritted teeth, serving as a stern reminder. Being a mom is so, so hard. We have the responsibility of raising children that will grow up to make a positive impact in this world … and it’s a lot of pressure. So, I wholeheartedly believe living a kind existence is so important. Be kind to your children, be kind to yourself, be kind to other people. Everyone is fighting their own battles … and what does it hurt to show a little kindness to everyone you meet? This is what I pray every day that my children will learn from me.