if not me...
If not us, then who If not me and you Right now, it’s time for us to do something If not now, then when Will we see an end To all this pain It’s not enough to do nothing It’s time for us to do something ~ Matthew West
It is 1995 and a boy sits alone at the lunch table. He's skinny and quiet, wearing a tattered Polo shirt. His name is Don. He typically roams the halls during lunch to avoid scenes like this, but today he is starved... So he eats, dodging occasional cheeto bullets from the next table. It is Friday so pep rally excitement fills the air. Don stares at his food, likely battling an internal voice yelling GET UP! RUN AWAY! And perhaps the voice almost wins. He's picking up his half-eaten tray when a cheerleader takes the seat beside him. She glares at her friends who sheepishly put their chips away as she starts a conversation. His behavior is often odd, to be sure, but he means no harm (years later he will be diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome). The bell rings and she rises to leave. He flashes a cautious smile and holds his head a little higher. They don't become best friends or eat together every day, but this is the last time he will feel humiliated and alone in the cafeteria. A line has been drawn in the sand, and a light cast on mean behavior that will no longer be glorified or tolerated. One girl, one small act of courage and kindness changes everything.
What did her parents do? Why, in the midst so much wrong, did she choose RIGHT? And how can we grow little humans who will become assets to humanity? Bullying, my friends, is alive and well... And not isolated to children. Social media has exacerbated the problem, allowing people to abuse one another behind the relative safety of their computers. And, good people, fearing they might be the next victim of widespread attacks, are unwilling to defend or protect the wronged. Like wildfire, negative news spreads, lies become truth, and wrongdoing is praised and passed on. Yikes. Thought it was hard being a kid in 1995? Good luck to our children if we don't make a stand now. We started Well Dressed Wolf with little more than a dream, a few sketches and our innocence. Somehow, little by little, our baby company started growing... and in just a few years has become something we never imagined. Along the way we have made friends (so many friends!). We've gained wisdom, honed our craft, learned valuable (sometimes costly!) lessons in business, and watched women come together for the good of each other and the world. We've celebrated babies being born and literally watched children grow up through pictures (wearing WDW!). In the early days, we jumped right into social media, joining the many groups that popped up in our name. Having never been involved in the underground world of children's clothing, it was a rush! Interacting with customers on such a personal level was thrilling and gratifying... Until it wasn't. Recently, we have stepped away from all groups (most of which are lovely places full of wonderful women!) because it was necessary. We didn't start this business to referee or participate in sparring factions of clothing lovers and buyers and sellers. We aren't politicians and have no desire to be. Our daily posts shouldn't be planned like a State of the Union address-- each word measured and monitored for potential hidden meaning or intention. We started this journey because we LOVE to design adorable things for your children and we LOVE getting to know so many good people who have rallied around our brand (and there are so many good people). In fact, a positive and inspiring community group will soon be launched exclusively for friends of Well Dressed Wolf. We hope you'll take part! We plan to pop in periodically and you'll get sneaks, make supportive friendships, take part in giveaways and have opportunities to help make the world a BETTER PLACE. It really is time to make social media a more positive experience again- for our children; for ourselves. Adults bullying one another and harassing businesses should never be okay.
As we tell our own children, you have CHOICES every day: seek darkness or seek light. Make a positive impact on the world or a negative one. Seek to inspire or to destroy. Do what you know is right- even when it isn't "cool". Don't seek revenge (no matter how much you want to!) and pray for the people who hurt you (this one is a toughie!). You aren't perfect and you'll make mistakes, so learn to apologize and forgive. Be honest, but be kind. Truth doesn't have to hurt... THESE are goals for our own lives (and business), and though we sometimes fall short, we are confident in the path we've chosen.
You're living the one and only life that God has gifted you, so make it count.
Love,
Sarah and Shannon
On that note, let's celebrate being good today. We have some sweet giveaways and links to happy places below:
- Our mantra for the day is BE A NICE HUMAN! And guess what? Our dear friend launched a company built to inspire just that! Our new favorite tank reminds everyone we meet to behave nicely in a modern, graphically pleasing font (bonus!). Danielle has generously offered a shirt, bag, candle and bracelet to one lucky person! Sidenote: you'll want to buy some for everyone you know, so here is their facebook page (where they happen to be hosting a giveaway of their own, so go check it out!).
- We are all works-in-progress. The Finishing School is a book we genuinely look forward to delving into! Several of our friends have also purchased the pre-order and we plan to work through the chapters together, encouraging one another along the way. Valerie of Val Marie Papers has generously offered a book for one of you!
- This little cardi/vest/sweater is the most versatile thing our my closets (yes, we both have one!). Dress it up, dress it down... Wear it as a long sleeveless vest or long-sleeved cozy cardi. Add a tank, skinnies & boots - and you're ready to hit the streets and make good things happen. One lucky winner will receive this beauty, but keep your eye on Buckle for restocks or similar items!
- Luxe by Virtue is a good friend's jewelry line. Tracy's pieces are stunning and available only through boutiques and high end retailers... and here for one lucky person! This brand stands for all of the things we love: goodness, righteousness, integrity, dignity, honor, nobility, purity and worthiness (a portion of all proceeds go to Giving Hope NOLA, dedicated to feeding needy elderly in New Orleans). We are so excited to share these pieces with one of you. You can see more of her glistening beauties by following her Instagram and you can purchase online at Shop Bella Vita.
I think the one thing that works in my household is my children watching me! How I interact with others. My child just recently learned one of her friends was gay! She immediately came home and asked me what was she suppose to do? Could they still be friends? I told her to always put herself in any situation. How would she want to be treated if it was her? After our long discussion she realized she needed to treat her like she always has! She needed to be her friend and be there for her when others weren’t so nice! I think all of our kids strive to be like their parents. We are ultimately their role models. When we behave badly or treat others badly they are always observing. Even when we think they aren’t watching they are!
This whole post made my day! This is probably our biggest hurdle and fear that we face as parents (other than losing a child). My oldest is 12 and at the stage where kids are mean, and unfortunately he is on the receiving end of that. As a parent, watching your child struggle is one of the hardest things to endure. How do I sit back and watch him get treated in a way no human should. I have made the mistake of interfering and it only made things worse. So as we head into another school year, where he has to leave me and function on his own, I worry daily if the ideas and support I give him at home are enough to make him strong enough to not only get by but to overcome the bullies that try to bring him down. I try to tell myself that he is strong and will prevail over these kids that may have other issues they are dealing with. I know that he comes home to a loving and happy home, and that is how I keep it together as I watch him stand at the bus-stop with boys who tower over him. My advice is to make sure that your children know they have a safe haven with you, that they can turn to you for support and love. Without that, they are alone.
My best advice is to use age-appropriate stories to teach them life long lessons. My favorite story was one my mom always told me. She told me everyday I started with a full bucket of water. It was my duty to share my “water” with those in need. I remember not understanding the moral of her story until much later when she said, “It’s much better to have selflessly shared your water with those in need than it is to walk around with a full bucket while others are in need.” In other words, share with those around you. Fill them up when they seem empty. Encourage those that are lost. Give to those in need and at the end of the day He will replenish what you have given away. My girls are still very young but I hope through our actions they are able to see how selfless and caring their parents are.
My two favorite sayings summed up below…The first Bob Marley and the second Mark Twain. My children have been taught to always put others before themselves and to be the change you want to see in the world.
The greatness of the man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Life is short, break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and NEVER regret anything that makes you smile.
The best way to raise kind, good, and courageous little people is to not only be kind, good, and courageous yourself but to also surround yourself and your children with others who are also kind, good, and courageous.